You know, I couldn’t believe that there was anything better out there for jerking the gherkin than using my grubby hands. But I just found out I was wrong. My girlfriend bought me this awesome masturbator and I wasn’t sure why until I stuck my dick into it. It vibrates, sucks and has a gripping action that feels just like I’m sticking it into her pussy.

She told me she can control it from the app, which is great because we don’t live together but I still want to get off with her. Besides, sometimes when we sleep together, she has a headache and now I can give her two aspirin and still get off thinking about her and how nice she was to give me this. I think I’ll keep her — the Max 2 and my girlfriend.

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